159: The Wrong Side of the Bed

Today I woke up on the

wrong side of the bed-

angry and anxious,

my chest tight before

the curtains even opened.

Doesn’t my body know

I’m okay here?

Doesn’t my body know

that I am lucky to be alive?

Maybe I read too many news stories

about another school shooting.

Maybe there are no sweet dreams after that.

Maybe today

is another day

where I trick my body

into believing it’s okay.

So I’ll go through the motions of joy.

I’ll point out the flowers at the end of the street.

I’ll hum love songs.

I’ll breathe deeply with my hand on my belly.

I’ll wear my favorite yellow sweater.

I’ll buy fresh peaches at the market.

I’ll say prayers on the subway.

I’ll smile at strangers.

And maybe by the time my head finds the pillow again

I will have already forgotten that yesterday in Texas a kid brought a gun to school.